So, it's been a few days...or a couple three weeks...whatevs. I'm working on being a real life person now, and not just a faker. >.< It's become harder and harder to imagine myself outside of the bounds of school...the major thing is that I just want to already be there. I am tired of being harassed from every direction about everything.
Got to relax for a little bit today, which was nice. Let the smile shine through. I have to focus so hard on being happy when I'm at work that sometimes I have trouble being really happy outside of it. There's a word for this type of industry, where you have to be happy because you are serving people and in order to get paid you have to make them happy by being happy happily.
I just want to be truly happy with where I am. I want to have the time of my life right now and not push myself to death. I want to live in peace for just a couple of days and not have a rain cloud following me over my left shoulder.
This wasn't supposed to be a downer post, I guess I'm just having trouble focusing on anything except myself today. Self-centered, perhaps, but if I'm not happy I get angry or depressed or something not nearly as fun.
Going to dinner soon, perhaps that will make me feel more alive, awake, and ready to do stuff.
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